Well I’ve rather gotten myself hooked on this. Been thinking about constantly. And this classification actually gives a good explanation as to why.
It’s a fascinating system to model how the brain works and what it does best. With that being said I’m not of a fan of those who wield it for mechanically explaining everyone’s type. Typing is what they call it.
But it popped up one day thanks to the YT algorithm and I gave it a look. Straight away I was introduced to the INFJ. Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Judging. It sounded like me from the get go and every vid I watched described me perfectly.
To understand what it means you have to dig deep into the definitions and the hierarchy it represents.
Cognitive functions and their place in the hierarchy. That has been really engaging and has really fired up my brain.
The first slot is where your ego begins in the conscious mind. They call it the hero and it’s the goto function of choice. The big man.
Next is the auxiliary support function. Often called the parent function, this gives your hero back up like a sidekick. It is also completely different to the hero function.
Next is the tertiary child function which is the innocent vulnerable part of you. It exists as another tool in your belt when you need to rest and play.
Next is the most interesting. The weak inferior function. It exists to give you a weakness to improve and actually gives you drive and motivation. What is also does is complete the set and if used well can get you your wildest dreams. It’s potentially a superhero function but it can be also be your fears and insecurities. If not used well it will be the biggest bane of your mind. Well maybe not quite the worst.
For this represents your conscious ego, there is the shadow side which I think represents your unconscious personality. The complete opposite of your conscious.
This has the same order but all the functions face the opposite direction. The theory is that all the darkness and pain that you avoid is pushed into the lazy unconscious mind and thus poisons the unconscious. It may be that we have this in order to defend ourselves against the forces of stress.
The hero becomes the villain, the support becomes the critical punisher. The child becomes the mischievous prankster. The motivator becomes the poisonous saboteur. Most terrible of all known as the demon function.
So here’s what I look like under this system;
Hero – introverted intuition
Supporter – extroverted feeling
Playful child – introverted thinking
Dreamer – extroverted sensing
Villain – extroverted intuition
Punisher – introverted feeling
Manipulator – extroverted thinking
Demon – introverted sensing.
Ni Fe Ti Se – Ne Fi Te Si. These are my two personalities. It’s important to make clear that this about how I deal with the world in terms of cognitive functions. It says nothing about the content of my character.
But to make a start with my Ni Hero, this is really when I’m at my best. How I interpret this (ironically through my Ni) is that I perceive the world through what I intrinsically know already. It can mean that I maintain fixed assumptions and rarely question them.
So I didn’t actually take the MBTI test, I have essentially typed myself based on the fact that it was telling me what I already knew deep down.
But it gives me a ready made framework to hang these ideas on and hopefully a complete understanding of who I really am.
The issues I’ve had to face this last year and a half, they did break me well and truly. I see a bigger picture of why I’ve tried to become someone else. Because all of my strongest cognitive functions broke and I was left with only malicious demons guiding me.
I needed to reverse the directions to undo the damage. I’ve been cautiously exploring the demons in a more healthy, beneficial manner and that has helped. Because these demons can be angels if used willingly and for the good.
Writing this blog helps me because I use Ne to externalise the internal. It’s good to get that expressive creativity. To bring new ideas to the table.
To give my overworked and over tired hero a break.
It’s not good for me, or anyone for that matter, to spend too much time internalizing. You need an outlet. Spending time with family helps to bring in new sensory information and it really changes my perspective.
So what is what the conscious ego actually for? Do I work to rebuild my ego functions or to cleanse my shadow functions? I feel like I’m becoming a different person in some areas but it’s tiring using your shadow functions and I’m just permanently tired these days.
Some life advice I’ve received is that I really need to sort out my Si Demon because this is what seems to undermine me at every time. This is the part of me that wants to fail and I am still failing at the end of the day.
Depending on the definition of introverted sensing, this is probably related to self care. Looking after myself and getting physically healthy. The good news is that I don’t need to go overboard, dont need to become Charles Atlas.
Just a little here and there to show the demon I’m not afraid and that will boost my Se Dreamer.
I’ve got so much to say about all this and I will continue in my quest to refine the model to regain my ego.
I plan to make my next blog a vlog. Tried about a year ago but got frustrated with the video editor and gave up. I felt very alien and uncomfortable watching myself talk.
Planned to do it last Monday during the day off not grieving the loss of the royal parasite. Felt like shit the whole weekend. Didn’t go out for a drink or anything. Didn’t do anything worthwhile. Lots of plans that didn’t work out.
Talk will be more about this stuff but I want to connect it to my autism as well because I have lots of hypotheses about how it affects my cognitive functions. I still need to be alone to film myself and it may take a while to put it together. This is a promise I will keep. Hopefully.
Thanks as always for reading xx